Dispatcher Promises 'Quick Little Run' That Crosses Four Provinces and a Time Zone
Driver reports the 'quick little run' is now in its ninth day and has gained its own weather system.
A long-haul driver from a made-up carrier called Northbound Hope Transport said this week that he is still on what his dispatcher described nine days ago as "a quick little run, you'll be home for supper."
The driver, who asked to be identified only as Ron because his name is not Ron, accepted the load last Monday at 4:45 p.m., minutes before his dispatcher, Debbie, left for the long weekend.
"She said it was 'right around the corner,'" said Ron, speaking from a truck stop in a province he says he "can't confirm at this time." "I didn't realize the corner was the Canadian Shield."
The language of dispatch
Ron's experience has prompted this publication to compile a short glossary of common dispatch phrases and their meanings:
- "Quick little run": 2,200 km, minimum
- "Easy unload": you are the unload
- "They're usually pretty good there": they are not
- "Should be ready when you get there": it will be ready Thursday
- "I'll see what I can do": no
- "You're my best driver": you are the only driver who picked up
Time zones not included
Ron added that the run crossed at least one time zone, which Debbie described as "a free extra hour, basically a gift," although the ELD disagreed and has logged him as both 40 minutes early and two days late.
Debbie, reached by text on Tuesday, wrote back "omw to a meeting, call u after," which was sent on Thursday and is still the most recent message in the thread.
A happy ending, sort of
Ron says the run should wrap up "any day now," after the receiver finishes counting the pallets, then counting them again in a different order. Once he empties, Debbie has promised him "a nice short one back toward home," which, according to the load sheet Ron was emailed at 2 a.m., ends 600 km farther from home than where he started.
"She's not a bad person," said Ron. "She just thinks distance is a feeling."
At press time, Debbie had sent Ron a thumbs-up emoji, which drivers widely consider legally binding.