Fleet
Fleet Assures Drivers Friday the 13th Will Be 'Business as Usual,' Which Is Exactly What They Were Afraid Of
Management says there is no reason for superstition, citing a load that is 'basically ready' and a shipper who 'should' have the paperwork.
Fleet Replaces Driver Lounge Couch for First Time Since 1994; Drivers Report Feeling 'Unsupported'
The old couch had shaped itself around three decades of 34-hour resets. Its replacement has firm cushions, clean fabric and no history whatsoever.
Fleet's Annual Safety Bonus Paid Out Entirely in Leftover Halloween Raisins After 'Budget Realignment'
Management called the 11 tiny boxes per driver 'a meaningful, fibre-rich recognition of excellence.' The award for zero preventable accidents is now two boxes.
Shipper's New Dock Appointment Portal Proudly Offers One Available Slot: 3:17 a.m., a Tuesday in 2031
The system's launch email described the opening as 'flexible.' Drivers who click 'Request Another Time' are taken back to the login page.
Fleet Unveils Truck So Aerodynamic It Can No Longer Be Located
Fuel economy is up 31 per cent, according to the last known reading.
Diesel Prices Achieve Sentience, Demand Seat at Rate Negotiations
The price at the pump says it 'just wants to be heard' and will be going up by Tuesday regardless.
Company Proudly Announces That It Has Made an Announcement
Trade press rushes to reprint the release, word for word, under the headline 'Company Makes Announcement.'