Fleet Unveils Truck So Aerodynamic It Can No Longer Be Located
Fuel economy is up 31 per cent, according to the last known reading.
A fictional Alberta carrier, Sleekline Haulage & Regret Ltd., proudly unveiled what it calls "the most aerodynamic tractor-trailer ever built" this week, before losing track of it roughly four minutes into the press event.
The rig, nicknamed The Whisper, features side skirts, a boat tail, flush-mounted everything, mirrors replaced by cameras, cameras replaced by vibes and a paint finish so smooth that wind reportedly "just apologizes and goes around."
"Our engineers removed every point of drag," said Sleekline's vice-president of fleet innovation, Dale Fairing. "Then they removed the points of drag that the first points of drag were hiding. At some point the truck stopped interacting with the atmosphere entirely."
Last seen heading east
Witnesses say The Whisper pulled away from the demonstration area at a gentle 40 km/h, caught a light tailwind and then simply was not there anymore. Telematics put it somewhere between Medicine Hat and "conceptually Manitoba."
"The ELD says it's in a 30-minute break," said dispatcher Sheryl Hooten, who has been calling the truck's driver every eight minutes. "But the ELD also says that about me."
Company officials stressed that the truck is not lost, merely "operating beyond the limits of observation." They noted that fuel economy was up 31 per cent at the last reading, which, they admitted, was taken while the truck was parked.
Industry reaction
Rival fleets were quick to respond. One made-up competitor announced it is developing a truck so heavy it is unaffected by wind, weather or the scale house, while another said it is working on a trailer that is aerodynamic only in the direction of the customer.
A fictional aftermarket supplier, meanwhile, has begun selling a $3,000 bolt-on "drag enhancement kit" for fleets that would like to keep their trucks in one known location.
At press time, the driver of The Whisper had sent a single text reading "fuel's great, scenery's blurry, tell my wife I said hi," and a selfie that appeared to have been taken from slightly above the clouds.